Leading From The Hearts
  • Home
  • About
  • Services
    • Virtual Retreat
  • Blog
  • Becoming a Love Dog
  • Poetry
  • Contact

The Practice of " Pausing"

5/25/2015

0 Comments

 
Picture
 “Oh, how I long to pause more, to step back
into that moment between things”

Beloved reader,

My history of being driven by doing is extensive.  In high school, I got to study hall at 5:30am, afraid of the conflict and emptiness in my home life.  In college I read the suggested and required reading before my courses began.  While I lived in community, I worked two full time positions.  In my career until my early 50's, I often worked 80 hour weeks.  While it's true I loved and still do love my work in Leading from the Hearts, this was way out of balance.



I didn't know how to process the feelings that would come up in the empty spaces and I didn't know what the pause could offer.  I was fueled by a profound sense of not being good enough and an even deeper sense that there was something
wrong with me.  I know I am not alone.  What is it about waking up at 3 am with obsessive thoughts and dreadful feelings that cannot be abated without a pharmaceutical remedy?

Those of us who have been faced with a sudden illness, depression, loss of job or loss of direction know what “enforced” pauses(the kind of pause in which we did not have a choice) can engender is our spiritual and emotional lives.  We live in a culture where worth is measured by how busy we are.  Doing MORE and having MORE is our mantra.

So, the question is “why would anyone want to pause?”  In my early 50's, I left my life's work in Denver for my first long-term sabbatical.  I thought the sabbatical would last 3 months but it actually took 3 years before I was really ready to reenter the work arena as a spiritual entrepreneur.  I could see that the way I was working was not working.  I wanted to take the risk of a time out.

My definition of “pausing” would be to suspend activity and to temporarily disengage from goals and the outdated value that says “doing” is God and making money, in and of itself, is holy. A pause can last a moment, a few days, or be a longer retreat or an extensive sabbatical.  When we pause, we disrupt the pattern and we open to the possibilities that exist in the stillness.  When we say no to “doing”, we say yes to “being”, and pausing becomes a practice, our life becomes fuller and richer.

While in that 3 years traveling around the US and Canada, every feeling under the sun came up(in fact, all the feelings I was suppressing by being so busy showed up for healing).  Learning how to be with the feelings and how to honor the process was and still is a significant life skill.  When I went back to work, I had so much more capacity for compassion, for quiet, for equality, for depth, and I had a renewed spring in my step.  Creativity guided all my next decisions and my business has been thriving ever since.

I know most of my readers are not at a place to take a long-term sabbatical, however, learning to meditate can be a daily way to get respite.  I use centering prayer and mindfulness meditation to fill the need for a refreshing pause.

I am learning to be the kind of person who values kindness over productivity.  I really don't even believe in success or failure.  I just want to show up in the moment and be true to the students I work with.  I value being of service more than making money, though making money is absolutely okay with me.  I have decided that I make “enough” money.

I am discovering that if I say “I'm going to pause here”, or “let me think about this”, or even “I don't know”, my world will not fall apart.  Instead, I have a chance to return to center, to a spacious place within.  At the end of our work days, my husband and I are learning to ask “when did you take time for being today?”, rather than the question about “what did you do today?”

I think I'll take a pause now, maybe a nap – pick this writing back up in a day or two to see what could open up after a time out.  Perhaps you would like to join me in your own pause!

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING, PATRICIA
Inclination
By Hamid Rahimi

One’s throat must be like a garden
And one’s eyes like windows
Through which love passes;
And one’s stature
Must be like a tree
That rises out of rocks;
And poetry must be like a singing bird
Perching on the highest branch of a tree,
Breaking the heavy silence of the world.

0 Comments

What if Depression is part of Wholeness?

2/2/2015

1 Comment

 
PicturePhoto by Carolyn Lake
Beloved Reader,

I've decided to “out” myself as someone who has been depressed more than 50% of my life.  I'm coming right on out of the closet because the truth always frees me and, it may have values for my listeners.

For the past year or two, I've been walking towards my depression, realizing
that judging it or considering it a weakness ISN'T WORKING FOR ME ANYMORE.  What happens if I criticize myself for being depressed, is that I add shame to depression and then I am doubly lost.

Now I'm asking questions like “what if depression has been the true birthplace of my compassion and creativity?  What if depression were a “good” thing, an honorable thing?  What if depression has been the catalyst for my emotional work and spiritual development all these years?  What if I were to stop judging it, or even tolerating it, and instead as in Rumi's “Guest House” poem – I opened my arms to it?'

The Guest House by Rumi

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, meanness;
Some momentary awareness
Comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
Who violently sweep your house
Empty of its furniture,
Still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be sweeping you out
For some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
Meet them at the door laughing,
And invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes
Because each has been sent 
As a guide from beyond.
You wouldn't know by looking at my life the role that depression and it's close sibling, anxiety, has played in my life.  Even though I've led seminars, counseled and coached thousands, traveled worldwide, still depression has been my near constant companion.  I wrote a letter today so that I can be in a more progressive relationship with my depression. It's my honor to share it with you.

Depression, my curse, my place of self hatred,  (the old self talk)
I'm really pissed off at how much you show up in my life, how much you take over.  I've had it with you.  Get lost!  I should be more resilient, stronger, more capable of using my skills to get past you – to feel happier.  I should be happier!
I certainly don't love you, sometimes I hate you, Patricia

Clearly, this approach was not working.  The end result has been that I have been further and further away from my true self and more and more isolated.
While this old pattern continues to show up now and again, most of the time I have shifted my self talk to a more redemptive place. 

Hello depression, (the new self talk)
Welcome home.  I'm sorry for the years of endless criticism.  I know you are part of me and I have room on my lap for you.  Stay awhile.  I'll warm you by the fire of my own heart and put a velvet blanket on your shoulders.  Rest awhile.  Let all the worldly clamor recede into the background while I tend to you and let you have me.  Thank you for listening, new friend and thank you for guiding me home. My heart is large enough to hold you...
I'll love you forever, (depression is either welcome or when I speak to myself with kindness. It begins receding into the background here – I am no longer at war with myself.)                              
I love you forever, Patricia 

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING,

Patricia
1 Comment
    Picture

    Patricia Flasch

    Patricia has always been fascinated by the discovery of the Soul and she has spent a lifetime passing her message on to students and seekers all over the world.


    Subscribe to the Blog

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner


    Picture

    Archives

    March 2016
    January 2016
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014

    Categories

    All
    12 Step
    23rd Psalm
    Acceptance
    Addiction
    Aging
    Authenticity
    Balance
    Bride Of Christ
    Broken
    Catholics
    Closure
    Compassion
    Couples
    Death
    Depression
    Dog
    Dying
    Engagement
    Forgiveness
    God
    Grace
    Grief
    Hatred
    Heightism
    Humility
    Humor
    Illness
    Loss
    Marriage
    Muse
    Obsession
    Original Sin
    Parents
    Pause
    Peace
    Praying
    Recovery
    Relationship
    Rumi
    Sabbatical
    Short Men
    Sleeplessness
    Surrender
    Techno-phobe
    Television
    Understanding
    Unknown
    War

    RSS Feed

Copyright 2015 Patricia Flasch - All Rights Reserved