Rumi's poem, The Love Dog Poem was the central guiding force for my book, “Becoming a Love Dog”.  (available on Amazon.com) The part of that poem that so speaks to my heart is:

“The grief you cry out from draws you towards union.
Your pure sadness that wants help
IS the secret cup...”

When I find myself bereft, lost, and experiencing a kind of longing, this poem is often my saving grace.  It reminds me that my grieving and longing is a part of my connection with the Divine – in those moments, it IS my connection with the Divine.  Once I see that my longing for God IS GOD, self acceptance lands in me.  I relax into the knowing that all is well, that it's just my heart reaching for the LARGER HEART.  

When I met Pamela, my protege', about a year and a half ago; the first thing I noticed about her as she spoke is that she was a woman burning with a desire for God, (love dog meets love dog).  I recognized her as someone I didn't even know I was looking for.  I had this sense that I could leave the legacy of my work through her; that we were kindred souls; that we would share a destiny.

Some of that awareness came at once; some of it has spread gradually throughout our beings.  We spent our first few months getting to know each other soul to soul!  We took walks in the woods, and listened to one another's soul stories, and delighted in one another's presence.  It felt exactly like another of Rumi's quotes:

“Lovers don't really meet; they are in each other all along...”

Over the past year, our relationship has blossomed.  A primary aspect is that I am sharing my work with her; allowing her to sit in on soul sessions; inviting her to accompany me as I offer workshops, sharing all the skills I've learned over my years in practice in psycho-spiritual counseling and life coaching.  It has been an ecstatic, synchronistic experience.  

We have asked Rumi and Shams Tabrizi to be our guides, our soul mentors; our place of rejuvenation and direction.  I'm not, by the way, saying I'm Shams and Pamela is Rumi, as we are both well aware of our human conditions and their many places of needing healing; I am saying that Rumi and Shams hold space for us and that there is an aspect of the ecstatic love shared by our guides within us and between us.

When I watch Pamela begin to do soul work with clients, it is one of the deepest pleasures of my whole life.  I KNOW we were meant to connect in this way at this time and that we have much to offer this world.

 This relationship is not hierarchical, it is mutual.  While I have my life's work to offer Pamela, I am offering her my whole heart and she is meeting me there with her whole heart.  There are many gifts she brings to our partnership table and there are times I am her student.  Student and Teacher are ONE!  

Our organization is called Leading from the Hearts... We invite you, sweet souls, to any of our coming offerings...

All honor to you on your journey,  Patricia

I chose a opalescent stone on a silver band.  I took myself out to a fabulous restaurant with real silver, pristine white linen napkins, a single red rose, and dancing candlelights.  I asked the violinist to serenade me.  I did not check the prices on the menu and I ordered a simple yet delicious meal.  Over dinner I had some intimate conversations with myself in my new leather journal.  I rocked myself as I went to sleep that night.  

What being engaged to myself meant to me back then was that I would have a deeper connection with myself.  I would face my many inner conflicts honestly, proving I could hang in there with myself.  If I happened to abandon myself, I would notice as soon as possible, and forgive myself for walking away when I most needed my own love.

I would return to my inner home, again and again and again.

Come, Come, Whoever You Are
By J. Rumi

Come, come, whoever you are
Wanderer, worshipper, lover of leaving
It doesn’t matter
Ours is not a caravan of despair
Come, even if you have broken your vow a thousand times
Come, yet again, come, come…

My wedding took place in May, 1989 in our tiny backyard rose garden.

I was surrounded by my husband and a few very close friends.  I wore a simple sage green a-line dress with tiny white polka dots.  I was barefoot in the grass.  I was radiant.

When I looked in the antique mirror, I said relatively traditional vows.

I knew the marriage ceremony was an outward expression of what was already happening inside me.  That inner marriage was a turning point both in my emotional maturity and in my spiritual life.  I began the process of looking inside for things that I expected I should get from a partner.

By then I had experienced two short-term, very disappointing marriages to men.  They were great learning experiences, though how could I get from them what did not already reside in me?

I thought they should meet all my needs, and be father figures who filled the hole left by the early death of my father.  They should offer me constant, unconditional love (like God).  They should want me, lust after me and pine for me if I wasn't there.

WOW – WHAT A SET-UP!  How could these men possibly fill this tall bill?  They didn't and they couldn't.  These deep holes were “my holes” and my personal inner work.

My inner connection and my connection with the God of my Understanding is my true marriage.  My 3rd marriage to my life partner, also extending all these many years, is the icing on the cake.  NO CAKE – NO ICING!

Beginning in 1990, I taught a training called Leading from the Heart.  After the lst year of deep inner work, each student graduated by creating their own inner marriage and celebration.

Perhaps marrying myself was a radical concept OR perhaps this inner marriage is what is missing for many, many folks.

Sweet reader, perhaps you could pause for a moment now and light a candle in your own name.  Maybe you are ready to go steady with you.  Maybe you are ready for inner engagement or marriage.  Wherever you are on your path, this blog is a call for homecoming!

Happy Valentine's Day,
Patricia