“We withdraw from the incessant monologue and concerns within ourselves, in order for something else to come into being.” Deena Metzger
While I have been meditating for many years, it's only recently that my practice has truly deepened. So, I'm familiar with the old, oft painful 'stories.' You know the ones I mean... “There is something wrong with me. I'm not good enough. I can't make it. I did it wrong. I'm bad. I didn't do enough.”
Anyway, I'd yell “ I love my body the way it is, I LOVE MY BODY THE WAY IT IS, I LOVE MY BODY THE WAY IT IS!”. Sometimes when I came out of the room, my voice would be horse or lost entirely. And, as I was walking down the hall after the primal scream, I'd be saying to myself, “NO I DON'T, I REALLY DON'T. I DO NOT LOVE MY BODY THE WAY IT IS. IN FACT, I RATHER HATE MY BODY THE WAY IT IS!”
What's the point here? Well, all my attempts to suppress, express, eradicate, eliminate, pound down or even drown the stories didn't work. Perhaps you've had a similar experience. In my training as coach/therapist, I learned to see these stories as the critical parent, the internalized parental critic, or the limiting beliefs, etc. I've worked with students to name their egoistic stories as a way of remembering that this critical voice is a part of us, but not all of us. That was helpful. THE EGO IS NOT BAD, IT'S ONLY HUMAN!
Another, more palatable and even kinder way to name the ego's dance, would be to describe these voices as unruly puppy voices. The unruly puppy does not need to be smacked upside the head, or shamed, or ignored. The unruly puppy needs to be loved and disciplined. The unruly puppy needs the alpha, more soulful, more adult part of us to speak up. That puppy needs someone inside to offer a message like “hey cutie, I love you AND I'm in charge here. It's time to go to obedience school so that our lives work better.”
I don't hate my body so much anymore, though those thoughts do arise on occasion. The large percentage of the time I do actually love my sweet body. And the limiting beliefs do not run rough shod over my life. My capacity to be aware of the belief, accept it and the accompanying emotion, forgive them, set them aside and go on with my day is large and growing. That's what I want for you!
Our old stories, as mentioned in the first paragraph of today's blog, bring us to our knees and then drive us to the place where the Spiritual Truth can emerge. So if we hang out in the idea that “I am not good enough or I don't do enough” long enough, feel the pain of that thought, and forgive it – we come to know the truth, which is that WE ARE BEYOND GOOD ENOUGH AND HAVE ALWAYS DONE WHAT WE CAME TO DO. I AM AND WE ARE ENOUGH. It's about 'remembering' and 'forgetting' throughout our lives and our soul's path.
Perhaps this blog has served as a reminder to love yourself amidst your own old stories and this reminder is just what you needed. If so, thanks for listening.
If you'd like more support on how to recognize, accept, forgive and set aside the stories that undermine your personal and professional life, consider joining us for the upcoming virtual retreat on October 24th. Just imagine how your life and work might open up if your True Self (more divine self) stepped to the front burner and your False, (more human) Self stepped to the back burner. Remember, though, it's natural and necessary that your human or egoistic self be on the stove. I believe the ego's stories actually drive us to our True Home, our knowingness deep inside the wellspring of our beings that we are E N O U G H!
More info on Virtual Retreat
Bowing towards you,
“There is a deep place within, where hidden and growing, our true spirit rises...
Each of us holds an incredible reserve of creativity and power, of unexamined and unrecorded emotion. The place of power within us is neither white nor surface, it is dark, it is ancient, and it is deep.” Audre Lorde